Archive for January, 2006

Is anyone looking?

Yesterday was (as days go) a very interesting day. It rained all night and first thing in the morning our small pond was so over flowing that I had to go out and manual empty some of the water out of it. In the process of feeling much like someone on the prairie hauling buckets of rain water I managed to slip and fall down splashing the water all over myself and hurting my knee. So my day was off to a great start. I still don’t understand why it is that when I/people get hurt or fall down our first instinct is to assess who is looking. My first thought isn’t “oh my gosh did I break anything? Am I bleeding? Do I need medical attention?” it is more like ” Ok who happen to see me looking like a fool? Is there anyone around to witness this?” Of course it didn’t help that I was still half asleep and in my pajamas. The end result was I had no broken bones, there wasn’t any blood and I did not require any medical attention. More importantly I am pretty confident that there wasn’t anyone looking.
The next big event was much more welcome and an even bigger shock than the possibly of someone seeming me slip and fall. A phone call saying D was be home soon. Of course this is a short visit but so very needed! He ended up getting home at around 5:30 and the dog-boys went crazy! The were so excited to see him…we all were.
He spent some time calling family, we did all the normal things a couple would do when they have been apart for a while, had dinner and watch TV! For many people that won’t sound all that exciting but for me it was over the top! He hasn’t been gone that long but a short time can sometimes seem like eternity!

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Cody Posey

Over the last week I have become very involved in the current trial of Cody Posey. I am not sure why I am so taken with young man. It is a very tragic story and while his crime is without question horrific it seem there was so much going on behind the scenes in the life of this young man. Such things as incest, physical and mental abuse . It isn’t hard to believe that co-workers and staff of the ranch did not wittiness this abuse. How many child abusers do such things in public? However, other long time friends and family members have testified to the claims of this young man.
The interesting twist in this case is the fact that family live and worked on the ranch in New Mexico of ABC veteran newsman Sam Donaldson. He was the first to testify in the trial. I have read so much about this online and watched most of the trial live. While many people have very mixed emotions about Cody it seems easy to forget that he was only 14 years old when all this took place. It is my opinion so far that he needs treatment not punishment. The fact is clear that either his abuse drove into this or he is simply disturbed in ways that most us can’t even begin to understand. Either way he is still just a child.

Is it so bad?

So yesterday I read something on Freedom Girl’s blog about a movie and went right out and got it! I recommend that you see her post about it and then see the movie. There isn’t anything I could say about this movie that she hasn’t said so see her post!
Today I am still trying to work on the newsletter and it just isn’t happening for me. I feel like my creative flow has been shut down. I am hoping that next week will prove to be more productive for me as I settle more into this new routine. The weekend seems to be the hardest part so far. I was looking forward to a visit from Sally this week but due to things going on in her own life she wasn’t about to make it. She is having a hard time right now and it is my deepest, sincerest hope that everything works out for her. I often fine that my own (so called) problems seem so much bigger to me until I am reminded that in comparison to others they are really very, very small. No matter how I may express myself here in the grand scheme of things my life is a good one and I am thankful for all I have, for the people who love me, the people I love , the simple gift of just being alive and all the many small gift that we all take for granted.

Almost creepy

It is so quiet here today it is almost creepy. Like something out some cheesy horror movie where I am last person left in the world! I called my mom in Florida to make sure this wasn’t the case and as it turn out the rest of the world is moving along just fine. The bright side of everything at the moment is that the email for D seems to be working pretty good. While it is taking my emails a little longer to get to him it seem he is at least getting them. This email system can be very sporadic at time and very unreliable. While it isn’t up to the minute live email as we all know email to be…it more like electronic snail mail…it is some form of communication. These days any is better than none!

My mistake

I didn’t blog yesterday because I just had so much going on. It seems everything is cleared up with the miscommunication about D and all of my information has been recorded correctly. This has been my main and only concern for the last week. I wasn’t sure what the outcome would be but luckily it has been taken care of.

I realized yesterday that I had not been considerate in getting current information to everyone so I sent an email apologizing. I did not receive any type of reply to the email and feel a little hurt myself. I prefer that when people are upset or angry they tell me directy. However, today I did receive a call from one family member and we had a nice conversation. I again apologized and completely understand why they were upset.
I think everyone is having a hard time dealing with the changes. Things simply aren’t as they use to be and that is out of our control. Having a job such as the one that my husband has is not by any means what I consider an easy life. I don’t talk about it much here on this blog for one simple reason….I am not allowed. Not having the simple day to day things that other people take for granted is not easy. Spending many holidays and family occasions apart and alone. Not every being able to plan anything for certain. Never knowing where he is or what danger he might be in. Receiving little if any communication for long periods of time and most importantly having to say goodbye to your best friend. In my case my only friend! These are just some of the things that are not easy for other people to understand nor could just anyone do this. With all this considered it can sometimes be very hard to think of others.
I don’t have anyone at the end of the day to tell how my week is going. I spend most of my days and all of my nights alone. I repeatedly check my email hoping there might be a simply one line email saying ” Hi I am fine and I love you” , there are no hugs, little laughter and even less conversation. Oh I do spend time talking with my dogs. They seem to care, listen and as all canines they are concerned.
While the rest of the world around me goes on as if nothing is different…my whole world has changed. Why would I do this? Why would I live this life. Simply because it is mine.
This is a really hard time for me and hopefully I will be forgiven.

Today was one of those days that I hope for…I was a little surprised because I did receive a short email from D yesterday letting me know that he was ok. It was really nice to hear from him and know that everything is going well. I sent back a short email to let him know that we are good and that I had received his.

The sun came out…


Tell me this boy isn’t happy to see the sun! He sits on The Perch and enjoys a lay afternoon in the sun. Yesterday was one of the most sunny days we have had in months. It was so nice outside…almost in the 50’s I think and the sun was bright. I was even able to open the garage door while I was working and the fresh Washington Air was amazing. It actually helped to keep me awake since I wasn’t able to sleep much last night. It doesn’t seem like all the Tea for Sleep is helping in that area. So I was up late working and slept pretty late today. D says it is good to be up at night because the electricity cost less. I have no idea if he says this to make me feel better or if it is actually true.

I spent a long time on the phone yesterday with my mil and we a great (very long) conversation. Then I spent the afternoon working, watched Flight Plan, ate frozen pizza for dinner while watch Fear Factor and then kept flipping channels to watch Commander In Chief and American Idol. Exciting I know…tell me!
Today I have some website orders to ship and then I plan to work on a newsletter.

Celebration or Protest


The house is so still and quiet today…it is rather odd. I keep thinking my phone is going to ring but of course it won’t. It is hard to have a normal routine and then with not much notice it all changes. I catch myself thinking as if nothing were different.

The boys decided to have a party…I’m still not sure if this was a celebration or protest. Winston seems proud to take credit for this although I know it was a joint effort between the three of them. I thought I would share some of what I wake up to each morning. If you have ever had a dog that loves to chase a ball you will be able to appreciate this. Technically I don’t speak bark but it isn’t to hard to understand this Jack on Crack! These are just two short clips of what goes on for hours…or until I throw the ball. First the the Stare Down then The Fit. (you need to give these a minute to load before hitting play)

For all the other Blackberry users out there (or anyone who knows a BB junkie) I thought you might find this amusing. I am able to laugh at myself and others. While I am not all that bad…this clip reminds me much of D! His dad must of thought the same thing because he is the one who sent it to us!

Blackberry Battle and stuff

Today I went to the Poulsbo shop and set everything up..they liked my products and even stuck a few in the storefront window. Needless to say I was excited about that since all my other items are toward the back of the store. This way at least people will see my items and hopefully wander in to see more. Go to Poulsbo and buy my stuff!!!

I have been following the Blackberry Trials very closely and I have to say it isn’t looking good for those of us own them. This has been going on for months and personally I thought it would have been settled by now. Not the case…so I will wait and see and hopefully it all works out or I guess I’ll be shopping. For now I am going to hold of on getting the newer one…just in case!

D is officially gone which is a little depressing but hopefully the time will go by quickly. I have lots to work on and to keep me busy but I have such a hard time sleeping when he is away. I am so exhausted today though so I don’t think I’ll have a problem.

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